So It's Serious Work - Be Happy Anyway.

My wonderful spiritual teacher, Kathianne Lewis, was speaking today at our spiritual community. She had a two-part talk, the first part being about Joy and Happiness. I thought it was applicable for us as therapists.

She spoke about figuring out a few years into her career as a minister that she was going to go home for a visit, and then she'd "get to be crazy". And she thought - "I used to have fun all the time, but I haven't been doing that lately."

She realized that when she entered her new line of work, she put on a "mantle of significance". I loved that phrase. I identified with it. When I became a therapist, it was all so serious. There was so much sadness and pain and wounding and processing and depth. And you know, there still is all that, but I think I hit the same point Kathianne did - she realized that you could work with people at all levels of problem, and still be in Joy yourself. Still be Happy. Still have Fun.

I love it.

Usually, in the few minutes between clients, I walk down the hallway outside my office (it's open to the air, and faces the west, for wondeful sunsets). And when I do this, I sing, I dance, I move my body and have a little fun before it's time to go to work.

So, dear colleagues, please do not forget to be Happy. To experience Joy. To have Fun. Remember, we cannot be unhappy enough to make some else happy. (Think about it).

Best, Your Grateful Guy

Share Your Good Results!

Hi everyone,

Sometimes, the online world can have lots of sharing of bad results - all the things that are going wrong. It gets us focused on the sense of ubiquity of these bad results (similar to bonding by complaining - something I am working on for myself!). But the truth is, these bad results are not happening to everyone. And there seems to be a prohibition sometimes on sharing the extraordinary good results.

In the teachings I follow, we call them "effects" or "demonstrations". Sharing them is a way to share and build belief, and to expand what we all think is possible. Celebrating another's successes also brings success to you, by the way. :-)

So I want to first share, and then challenge you to share your good results in the comments, whatever they may be.

First of all, I wrote on Thanksgiving about the two "lost clients" who had refused multiple bills for months, and the checks landing in my office in the same week.

Today, I had two different potential clients, one who initially emailed me IN FEBRUARY, and one in October, both come around after a long period of radio silence and set up first appointments.

I feel grateful for these. They feel like more than what I sense from the "mainstream" (which I am comfortably out of, in different ways now).

And you?

Best, Your Grateful Guy

Changing the Title

Hi folks,

I made a decision - I've changed the title of this blog to Spiritual Tools for Private Practice Success". I realized in the last few months that I am really much more "out" as a spiritual being than I was when I first started blogging here.

I also realized this isn't just about building your practice, it's about success in your practice. It's about enjoying your work, creating change for people, staying sane and centered, making a good living while doing good, keeping positive, and continuing to learn. It's about purpose and meaning. It's about *why* we do this work!

So I'm leading with the Spiritual now, rather than the Private Practice. It feels right.

Namaste, Your Grateful Guy

Scared? Focus on Creating Value

Greetings fellow travelers. Today, I want to talk about creating value.

I first want to say yes, I notice the economy and what is going on. I see the effects in the world. And no matter what is going on in the economy, I know one thing - people always pay when you can give them something of value.

The economic run-up of the last years included a creation of money (money is actually created from nothing, folks) which in retrospect was not matched with created value. Much of the money created was made on Wall Street by people playing various games and gambles, leveraging movements and changes, but not creating value.

Even in housing, the idea of flipping always turned me off, personally. A house that was worth $250,000 one day, was worth $300,000 6 months later, and $400,000 a year after that. Was the value of the house, or living in it, really any more than before? I just don't think so.  There wasn't that much value created.

So now back to our work - therapy, counseling, helping people. Our work does create value in people's lives. And it does it in the way people really experience it - on the level of their emotional state or experiential state.

Ten years ago I learned a concept called "Driving Needs", that taught me that the behaviors and activities we indulge in are really towards the end of experiencing an internal state. It's the feeling or the experience we want, folks! And that's our specialty, isn't it? We help turn depression into feeling more present and joyful and energized. We help turn anxiety into a more peaceful feeling. We turn distance into connection and intimacy and acceptance. We help people feel love!!!!!!

People pay for changes of state. Even in a down economy, what sells? Cigarettes & alcohol & the like! People pay to feel better.

Now it's up to us to really know that we create value, and what that value is. And in a challenging economy, we need to communicate that value clearly. People get stuck on the form, rather than the experience (see the book "Who Moved My Cheese" for more on this).

Value is also helping people avoid more costly or unpleasant things. It is entirely an irrational and illogical argument to say that marriage counseling is too expensive, when you look at the cost of getting divorced. Just the financial cost, of lawyers, and two households (rents, etc) absolutely DWARF the cost of marriage counseling. Feel free to steal this line for an ad: "If you think marriage counseling is expensive, just try divorce!"

So folks, keep your eye on the prize. Keep your Spirit focused on Source. Keep your mind working on creating Good in the world, and creating Value in people's lives. This will keep you in the flow.

As always, I send each one of you my very best. Namaste, Your Grateful Guy

Watching Your Media Intake

Hi folks,

Well, this post was oddly inspired by watching M. Night Shymalan's movie "The Happening" - which was a good scary movie and freaked my wife and I out a bit. I don't think I'm giving away anything by saying the protagonist happens upon someone who doesn't have TV, radio or internet. The woman has cut herself off from the news of the world, and in doing so, there are pluses and minuses. One of the pluses is the peaceful state she can be in.

I was speaking with my wife's uncle on Thanksgiving. He's from Spokane, and I asked him how the economy was there. His answer: it would be OK if people would stop watching the news. Apparently the local economy is fine, but people are freaking out when they see the national news about the bailout, etc etc.

These lead me to re-consider something I did at the start of the Iraq war - a media diet. For a week, I stopped watching news, surfing news sites on the web, and reading newspapers. Instead, I read books, I gardened, I exercised, I meditated and prayed. And it was really great. My anxiety level went down and my experience of Peace increased greatly.

In these times, where we can't control the national economy ourselves, it might be a good idea to reconsider your media diet. Instead of taking in bad news, keep your head down, keep moving forward in your practice, keep feeding your own soul and doing good in the world. Focus on what you can control and what you can do, and do it.

I sincerely wish you the best!
Your Grateful Guy

For Thanksgiving - Gratitude

"If the only prayer you ever say in your entire life is thank you, it will be enough." - Meister Eckhart

So early on this Thanksgiving Day, I turn to Gratitude. It's both a wonderful experience and a powerful spiritual tool. I'll keep it short and pithy, as I am sure you want to turn to family, football, and food. :-)

There's never a bad time to turn to gratitude - to list and focus on what is in your life that you are grateful for, and to give thanks for it - to Source, to Spirit, to God (whatever word works for you). On the basis of the idea that we draw to us what is inside us, we should and do draw to us more to be grateful for.

My wife is teaching a class right now, and one of the homework assignments was to track unexpected income, and give thanks for it. I had a strange, wonderful result of that. Two different "lost" clients - people who had no-showed their last appointment, then didn't answer emails, and then ignore multiple mailed bills for the cancellation fee (one 3 months ago, one 6 MONTHS AGO) - both of them sent in checks to me!!! I was quite flabbergasted, but gave thanks. It was unexpected. It can happen, folks!

I've got lots more to be grateful for right now, including:
* two healthy businesses
* many of my year's intentions coming to fruition (this blog being part)
* a continually deepening marriage
* a return to the gym and working out

I welcome comments of your gratitudes too! Happy Thanksgiving! Go Lions! Go Seahawks!

Best, Your Grateful Guy

Got Trouble? Praise and Raise....

So I saw that a colleague was having troubles with a client (not in therapy, but about financial issues). The colleague was upset, worried, anxious and perhaps angry. I could not blame her - I would be too, and have had situations like this myself.

It reminded me that all of us therapists have these moments, these people, these problems from time to time. And the anxiety and worry they bring is unfortunate. Isn't there something we could do?

Yes.

There is a spiritual practice to use when you are having trouble with someone - it's called "Praising and Raising". Basically, it's a way to send healing love to the person you are having the trouble with. Usually, the troubling behaviors of others come from their own pain and feelings of separation. We can meet that with our own pain and anger, which usually continues or deepens the problems, or we can raise our state of consciousness of the situation.

It's quite a simple prayer - and is best done as a posture prayer (a prayer with movement). Here's how it goes......

(with hands together in prayer position) I Praise (person's name)

(with hands held upward and open) I Raise (person's name)

(with hands coming folded over your heart) In the name of Love.

Repeat 7 times. Do that for 7 days. I have experienced this working, and heard story after story after story on it.

For a deeper explanation visit this webpage.

I wish you Peace! Best, Your Grateful Guy

Your Clients *Are* God, Too!

So let me preface this by saying - Wow! I stirred up a lot of feelings, both positively and negatively, with that last post. I knew it felt daring, and I guess I was right. Some of the biggest energy I stirred up was around tithing. Odd, since that wasn't really the main point of the post. I think it was coming back from that pledge dinner that had me all energized.

Anyway, one reader wrote me, and reminded me of another relationship between God and clients (thank you!). That is this - my clients are God.

What do I mean by this? I mean I believe that we are all imbued with Spirit. No one has less or more of it. No one is better or worse in it.

I think inside each human being there is an unsullied Spirit. An essence of Good. A core of Noble Source. Some call it a Soul.

And so, when I sit with them, when I hear their stories, and learn their beliefs - that they think they are broken, or bad, or unworthy, I know not to believe them. Because I am sitting in a stronger, higher Truth. That there is a perfection in them, and that at the core they are lovable, beautiful, sweet, and peaceful. I greet them from this place. I hold onto this Truth as they try to convince me otherwise. And sometimes they try very hard.

I know they have bodies and brains and personalities and behaviors and actions that are not reflecting this. I am a realist, people! And we'll sort that out. But my respect for them, the honor I give each person who comes in, is knowing they are a Spiritual being.

I believe that about you too, whether you agree with what I believe or not.

The Spirit in me recognizes the Spirit in you. Namaste! Your Grateful Guy

PS - and if you want to know how this relates to practice building, I think holding this makes it easier to sit with people. And they feel the love and respect from you. And they keep coming back and working and healing.

Where Do Your Clients Really Come From?

So I just got back from the kick-off of our church's annual giving campaign. I pledged a tithe for 2009. This is my third year of tithing, and it was quite easy and unremarkable this time - no hand-wringing or second thoughts at all. Since I've begun tithing, my monthly income has roughly doubled. But I'll stop - this post wasn't meant to be about tithing.

I'm going to go right at this one. Direct and uncensored. So hold onto your hats.

I believe Consciousness is cause. That Spirit is the source of all Good. That the results we see in the world (we'd also call them "effects") start from Intention, and from the field of Possibility. They start in, and are made from the field we call..........God.

God is everywhere, and in everything.

So, guess where your clients come from? They come from God.

Where does your good come from? God.

And your abundance? Your personal economy? Also from God.

I've proven this to myself over and over again - changing nothing in my marketing, changing only my attention and intention and watching the phone ring and ring, or stop ringing.

I know that right now there is a lot of fear in the air. Great anxiety, and belief in scarcity. I know it will be bad for a lot of people. I know it doesn't have to be bad for you. I have faith in this. What should you do?

Turn your attention to Spirit. To Truth. To the Goodness of God. To your connection with Source. Turn inward and focus attention on the ultimate Goodness and Abundance of God. It's infinite. It's all around you. There is no scarcity here. That's just an illusion. Scarcity only comes in the believed separation from God. Instead, envision your thriving practice helping people. Open up to & accept your Good. Open up to this experience - it may be quite different from those around you. Have more faith in Spirit than in the economy.

You see, you might think your clients come from referrers, or from the web, or from your Yellow Pages ad. But I know your clients come from God.

I give great thanks for all the blessings of life. Namaste, Your Grateful Guy

The Zen Horse Story

There is much hand-wringing going on right now. There is much judging that it is bad, all bad. To remind us that we do not know what all this will be, I remind you of the Zen Horse story (stop me if you've heard this before)....

There was an old farmer in the country. One day, his stallion broke its fence and ran away. His neighbors said "that's so bad!" The old farmer just shrugged and said "Maybe".

The next day, wanting some oats, the stallion returned. And, it brought three wild fillies with it. His neighbors said "that's great luck!" The old farmer just shrugged and said "Maybe".

The farmer's teenage son went out to break one of the new horses. It bucked him, and he broke his leg. His neighbors said "what horrible luck!" The old farmer just shrugged and said "Maybe".

The army then came around, conscripting young men to fight in a war. Because of the broken leg, they didn't take the farmer's teenage son. The neighbors said "what great luck!" The old farmer just shrugged and said "Maybe...."

I present this story because we cannot know what this whole economic change will bring. There will be bad parts. There may be good outcomes too. We cannot know for sure. But be open to the possibility that some gifts will come from this. I certainly wish you those........yours, Your Grateful Guy

In a Changing Economy....

Folks, one of my teachers spoke on Sunday, and I thought I'd share the gist of it with you, as I thought it was important. It can be easy to get caught up in fear and anxiety right now.

One way of looking at what is going on right now is the collapse of smoke and mirrors - the end of things built on debt, the end of things being rewarded even though they bring no real value, the end of an unsustainable way of being.

What that means is the re-valuing of those things that are important. And what we do as therapists is important. People want peace of mind. They crave a relief from suffering. They need help keeping their marriages going. These are the real centers of people lives - not cars or stuff. And so, if you are a therapist who creates value in people's lives (and health and wholeness is valuable), you will continue to get business.

You may need to re-work how you discuss your business to focus more on results. You may need to help people work with their insurance (whether in or out-of-network). You may need to market more. But do not think this is the end of counseling business. It isn't.

More coming on this very big topic..........best, Your Grateful Guy

Before Success: Spiritual Practice. After Success: Spiritual Practice.

Hello again folks, it's been a while. This is another one of those "writing so I can hear it" posts. And hopefully some of you can gain from it as well.

I got so busy doing work over the last 2-3 months, that while I did hit a monthly revenue milestone that I was aiming for (and would never have considered 2 years ago), I found myself unhappy. I was burnt out, a bit out of balance, tired and crabby.

Guess what I'd done? In my eagerness to say "Yes" to more and more Abundance, I'd started letting some things slide. Some relaxing here, some sangha there, some of my own meditation and prayer and spiritual study over there. And while the business still came in, Your Grateful Guy wasn't feeling all that grateful.

I know the famous phrase "Before enlightment: chop wood and carry water. After englightenment: chop wood and carry water." I've also heard my spiritual teacher Kathianne Lewis mention that people will often pray and pray and pray when things aren't going well, then when they finally get better they'll figure "hey, I don't need to do that anymore." WRONG! And I am guilty as charged,

So it's been a week or two since I really re-committed to re-balance, self-care, re-integrating spiritual practice into the mix. I already feel better - and of course my phone has started ringing again with new therapy clients. It's just like that.

OK, instead of writing anymore I am going to go hug my wife :-)

Namaste, Your Grateful Guy

PS - be careful what you wish for. You might get it!

Taking Care of Your Favorite Plants

I'm finishing up my three-part gardening series today with a post about taking care of your favorite plants. We've covered seeds, germinating, and being careful in what you plant. Now let's talk about their care and feeding.

By favorite plants, I mean the ones that provide you with fruit or enjoyment or fulfillment or nourishment in some way. In regards to your private practice, the most important one is of course YOU! You need to take good care of this most important asset, with rest, relaxation, rejuvenation, education, and just plain fun!

But let's get back to my original intention of this post - the external plants whose fruit feeds your private practice.

For me, these mainly include my website, web marketing, and referral sources. I've found I need to water, fertilize and sometimes trim these to keep them producing good and plentiful fruit.

In real life, those actions include keeping my website fresh and up-to-date, continuing to find new places on the web to post about my site and practice, and sending regular thank you notes out to people who refer to me.

And a last thought is that you need to harvest the fruit too, to keep it producing more. I have had referrals from time to time (for both my Google biz and counseling biz) that I was too busy to respond to in a timely manner. The fruit rotted, and I assume that referral source probably soured a bit on me. Thus my garden is only as big as I can work it. Interesting stuff.

All the best, Your Grateful Guy

Are You Planting Weeds or Flowers?

Keeping with the spring/garden theme, my question for today is "are you planting weeds or flowers?"

On a psychological or spiritual level, our thoughts, word and actions are continually influencing our lives, not only for this moment, but in continuing ripples that reverberate over time. As I wrote in my last post, sometimes seeds take a long time to germinate, and then more time to bear fruit.

So, what are you planting? Weeds or flowers?

For me, weed seeds would be ideas, words and actions that reflect judgment, scarcity, criticism, doubt, struggle and other negativity, such as:

• Speaking ill of other therapists
  
• Constant complaining about how bad things are
  
• Keeping clients that you aren't a good fit for (because you want the $)
  
• Trying to cheat someone financially, or be cheap with them (not pay their fee, etc)
  
• Being critical of others efforts at growth or expansion
  

For me, flower seeds would be ideas, words and actions that show gratitude, creativity, abundance, flow, compassion and faith. That would include doing things such as:

• Referring out to other therapists when it's right to
  
• Speaking confidently and open-heartedly about your work
  
• Open-heartedly helping others around you
  
• Brain-storming new business ideas
  
• Doing Self-care
  
• Giving back financially to where you are spiritually fed
  

Remember, if you plant weeds, you're going to need to pull them at some point! And one characteristic of real-life weeds is that if you let them grow and turn to seed, they turn out a prodigious amount of new seed!

Best, Your Grateful Guy

Seeds - Planting and Germinating

I've been out in the garden today, and combined with this week's new therapy client, a post has developed.

The new client I met with yesterday was such a sad young man, and my heart was open to him and felt his hurt with him. In speaking with him, he worked with a man I knew the first couple of years I was in Seattle (like 1999-2002). I hadn't seen the acquaintance in 5-6 years, but here was someone coming in because I knew him back then. In my seed analogy, a seed planted and forgotten years ago germinated and came to life.

Seeds are interesting things. Some germinate easily, under a variety of conditions. Some can sit dormant for years. Some need external help (such as to go through a bird's digestive track, or in the case of giant sequoias need fire to open the seedcase). A seed planted this month may need the heat of August to begin to turn into a plant. Many seeds never germinate.

What's the point in your private practice? Keep planting seeds, keep planting seeds, keep planting seeds. I could also say "keep the faith, keep the faith, keep the faith," because you will not see the fruits of much of your efforts for a long time, but don't mistake the lack of results today for what will be. Over time, if you keep planting seeds, you will have results come to you.

In short: be a Johnny Appleseed of your Good.

Best, Your Grateful Guy

There Is No Competition For You!

Moments ago I received a phone call from a man who "wanted to see someone today." I didn't have a full hour open, and anyway am always a little wary of people who feel that desperate, so I wished him well in his quest.

I remember when I was part of the "whoever answers the phone first gets him" contingent. I'd take anyone. I had a general practice and did not know what made me different from any other counselor. I was like the old Generic products, remember those? The ones in the supermarket with the black and white text labels that simply said "Pretzels", or "Peanut Butter"? Low price was the only reason to buy those. And did I mention that when I first started I mainly differentiated myself by my low, low prices?

Five years has taught me this: there is lots of competition for generic counselors. There is no competition for Me.

What do I mean by this? I mean that as I have begun to know who I am, what I'm good at, who I like to work with, believe in my value and learn how to confidently communicate that, I have found that I am unique.

There are so many elements in it. There's my niche, my age, my gender, where I've lived, what I've overcome, what languages I speak, what my trainings have been, and so on. There is literally no one else who has the same combination of attributes as me.

Overall, I use the term "Resonance Niche" to describe it. If you give your potential clients enough information about you (and I know this flies in the face of the psychoanalytic/blank-slate model) it will help the right ones decide on you. Some people come to me because I'm from NY. Some because I have a tech background. Some because of my "Nice Guy" niche. Some probably just because they like my "energy" in the videos on my website.

So for you, this means knowing that everything about you, everything you've been through, everything you have learned, everything you have lived, is an asset, and is part of what makes you a unique therapist. There is no competition for You!

Best, Your Grateful Guy

PS - did I mention that people pay more for a specialty item than the generic? They do.

The Difference Between Information and Experience

So I have been blessed to get free tickets to see both Eckhart Tolle and Deepak Chopra speak over the last two weeks. Both were wonderful - accomplished people who obviously knew things deeply and were ready to teach. But I have to say, while Dr. Chopra's talk held lots of fascinating information - it was Eckhart Tolle which was profound and affecting for me. Why? I think it goes to getting information vs. an experience.

Chopra, a doctor and lecturer, did just that. He lectured. With a couple short imaginative exercises (a minute or so), which he honestly didn't seem very comfortable with. I came out with some new thoughts and new questions, but was quite ready for it to be over.

Tolle engaged us in trying to *be* a different way for the three hours. To experience presence in a different way. He brought forth experiment after experiment, and experience and experience. I felt challenged and called forth to try to feel, be, think, and *not* think differently with him. It was a "lab class", I guess. And I was moved in a way that hasn't gone back yet.

I think we need to remember the value of the therapy we do. Sure, clients often refer back to something we taught them, or said - a rule, a phrase, a tool. But underlying all that, and where I think the most profound healing comes is when they experience something radically different with us.

It's when we listen, accept, receive, see, understand, love, challenge, hold, stay with, call forth, contain, connect, resonate and be with them in a way they have never experience before that the movement and healing happens. Things that reading a self-help book just can't do.

That is our deep value. That is the intangible, esoteric value we bring. Don't forget it. Don't undervalue it.

Namaste, Your Grateful Guy

Affirmations of Scarcity or Abundance in Time, Money & Energy

In my therapy marketing business, I interact with a lot of therapists. It's always interesting to see their responses to my fees - especially when I think of these responses as affirmations.

"I can't afford it."
"I don't have the money for that."

While I understand the impulse here, from a spiritual standpoint this is re-affirming the situation as true. So I'd suggest a change of languaging (and thus a different affirmation) to something more along the lines of:

"I choose not to spend my money on that."
"This isn't important enough to spend money on right now."
"I am saving up for this."

This topic is pertinent for me right now because I am running into these same issues around time and energy. I keep affirming that I don't have time for this, or the energy to do that. Or that I am overwhelmed. And so that truth continues, and reinforces itself.

One last reason to highlight this is that I don't think these are just spiritual lies we are telling when we affirm these scarcities, I believe they are literal lies. An old teacher of mine, Kathleen Carie used to say "Honey, you've got all the time, money and energy for that which is most important to you." I've never found that to be wrong.

Until next time, Your Grateful Guy

Facebook Reminds Me That Expansion & Creativity Are The Truth

It's Sunday, usually time for a post. I'm sitting watching the Grammys and doing some online work.

I was on Facebook earlier tonight, and found that now you can add pages for your businesses. I added one for Your Google Guy and my counseling practice. I noticed they are selling PPC (pay-per-click) ads too now, and set up one for counseling in Seattle. It'll be interesting to see how this goes, but one thing I can tell you is that Facebook seems to really be rocking the online world. Much more than MySpace did.

How does this relate to the spiritual? Ah, Grasshopper, this is how. I've been wondering, what will be next for my therapy marketing business? Will things slow down? Will people not need my services anymore? Facebook reminds me that the Truth of Spirit is Expansion, Creativity, and Creation. I need not worry. I can count on new things showing up. New opportunities. All I need do is keep open to them - be aligned with the truth.

The same thing is true for all you therapists out there. Life is expanding and changing, and since I think the core of our work is helping people understand what it means to be human, as possible human experience expands, so does our work.

For instance, right now, I could see counselors working in these relatively new niches:

• Dealing with online bullies (teens, adolescents)
  
• Balancing online and offline relationships & time
  
• Helping couples deal with financial stress (housing bubble, recession, etc)
  
• Helping men & couples deal with internet porn
  
• Online dating coaching
  

So, stay open to the expansion, the creativity, the creation. It is going on.....right now!

Best, Your Grateful Guy

Community Support: Taking Refuge in the Sangha

Buddhists talk about taking refuge in 3 things: the Buddha, the Dharma (teachings), and the Sangha (spiritual community). I wanted to chat for a moment about Sangha.

There are times when all of us are stressed, or have some loss of faith. One of the most effective things I've found in those times is Sangha, my spiritual community. This can be any group of like-minded people, who support one another. It can be through any medium (in-person, email, phone, online forum).

Sanghas I have been in have usually been clear in their intention - as a place to voice both faith and doubt; as a place to be supported and give support; as a place to lend and to borrow faith; as a place to remind and be reminded of Truth.

I think it can be easy to "go it alone" when you're in private practice. After all, we therapists sit in a room with our clients, with no backup in the moment. And we usually have no one else to be accountable to about our business results. We even have quite strict policies about discussing our cases (and from our inherent role we may develop strict policies about talking about our own pains and weaknesses).

I want to encourage anyone reading this to find spiritual support in community. In Sangha.

Peace, Your Grateful Guy

PS - I wanted to come back and add a quick thought: the concept of spiritual community certainly isn't limited to Buddhist thought. In Christian thought, fellowship and "where two or more are gathered" are well known ideas. While I am not as conversant in Islam or Judaism, I would imagine there are similar ideas there too.

On "Making" It Happen

I often write based on something I need to be reminded of, and today is another example of that.

I am working on planning an annual meeting for my spiritual community's men's group, of which I am the brand new leader. I have been stressed about it, feeling the tightness and tension in my chest as I try to do everything I can think of, and try to think of everything I should do. In short, I am trying to make it happen. Lots of effort and struggle.

Today, I was reminded that the place to start is with consciousness, with visioning, with intention. And to include the easy unfolding as part of the vision. So I am calling in prayer support, and have set aside some time to really sit in the visualization of what I want this meeting to be.

This is a reminder of the first year or two of my private practice, when I tried to make success happen, make clients call me, make a niche or specialty that would bring in dollars. It all turned when I started with intention first.

I Am Not "Lucky"!

It's funny, I began this post as just a title some 2 months ago. Now I return to finish it on absolutely the other side of things.

Sometimes I wonder if my readers think I'm always doing well, and that only good stuff flows to me (like unicorns and rainbows, as I sometimes say to my clients). Well, I begin this post with a blockage that is quite apparent, but which at the same time deepens my faith (odd, yes, but stay with me).

So in the last two weeks I've had an average of about a potential client contact a day. Some couples, some individuals. Some phone, some email. Some with questions, most seeming quite ready to go. But get this, not one has turned into an intake yet. I am like 0-for-10. This is way out of the ordinary for me.

It is clear to me that something is going on - so I look at my life. Hmmmmm. Had to write and deliver a class on the Four-Fold Way last weekend. Was supposed to help organize a sweat lodge that fell through at the last minute. My wife's been fighting pneumonia for over a month. And did I mention that tomorrow our adoption social worker is coming over for our "Home Study" (this is licensing our house, not us) - which has required a ton of cleaning, fixing things, and installing baby-proofing long before we'll get a baby. That's a lot of energy and attention there. Not a lot of room for anything new, like new clients.

So, you see, I don't believe this string is bad luck, just as I don't believe when I've gone 5-for-5 in a week it's been good luck. I am fairly through believing in luck. I believe in manifestation. And I know all I need to do to change the current situation. Clear up what needs to be finished, get rested, and really want and be ready for more clients. Welcome them. And then they will come. It ain't luck. Good or bad, it ain't luck.

Until next time. Yours truly, the Grateful Guy

Are New Clients Welcome? Is There Space For Them?

One of the most clear esoteric lessons I've learned in my own private practice is that my results can be affected by own energy. If I am tired, feel overwhelmed, am getting behind, or am burnt out, my phone stops ringing, and cancellations start coming in.

Conversely, one of the best things you can do on an energetic level is to open up space for new clients, by making sure they are welcome. How do you do this? I've found different ways over the years:

- investing in my health (self-care: massage, sleep, exercise, etc.)
- adding new education; taking a continuing ed class
- cleaning my office, desk and email
- filing back paperwork; getting caught up on all billing
- figuring out where else my energy is going (family, other worries)
- getting supervision, or my own therapy
- connecting to Spirit (meditating, prayer, etc)
- taking days off; going on a retreat
- outsourcing & streamlining your business

Here's the part that seemed spooky at first - you don't need to tell anyone you are doing this to see results. I remember the first continuing ed class I took after I opened my practice. It was a David Burns workshop on CBT for Anxiety (he's a really smart and sweet guy). During the 2-day class I received three potential clients calls. I hadn't had more than one call in any given week before that.

Don't take my word for this. Try it. I help people all the time with their websites and their Internet marketing, but if they aren't open, if there isn't the space and energy to welcome the new clients, the clicks don't turn into calls.

So try it. Post your results. Let me know.

Namaste, Yout Grateful Guy

Building Capacity Through Spiritual Practice

It's been my experience that one of the gating factors for how many clients I have is how many I am capable of seeing: time-wise, energetically, emotionally, physically. My capacity is reflected in my results. If I am energetically drained, I get cancellations, and my phone doesn't ring. When I am filled and replenished, my people all show, and the phone rings.

I have been taught, and experienced more and more, that a way to increase my capacity to see clients is through spiritual practice. While there are many, let me focus on just two for the moment.

Opening to Wisdom - remember that Wisdom comes from Spirit. Open to a greater wisdom than your mind. That you don't need to know everything, and in fact cannot know everything. But in being open to Spirit, things will come out of your mouth that you could not have planned or known. This will usually only come out if you trust it, though. I find more and more that I follow the intuitive flow, and Wisdom comes with greater and greater ease. I remember the opposite - planning sessions, planning interventions & homeworks, self-censoring, thinking a lot in session.

Releasing Clients to Spirit - while we all have to do our due diligence when a client is in crisis, I know sometimes I hold on to responsibility once a client has left the session. I think about them, worry about them, wish I could do more. That can drain me. When I notice this (and I would say this would be good to do every day) I say a prayer recognizing the infinite Love of Spirit, and then releasing my clients into that Love. Knowing that they are held by something bigger than me allows me to let go, and replenish myself. I have my own life to live after all :-)

That's it for this Sunday. Namaste! Your Grateful Guy

Abundance, Scarcity and Group Consciousness

Before I was a therapist, I worked in high-tech, and I made pretty good money. In fact, I was a bit of a Yuppie.

When I graduated with my Masters degree in counseling and began to launch my practice, I noted that there was a very common belief that you cannot make money as a counselor. It seemed pretty pervasive. They backed it up with facts - I'm sure you know the ones, about insurance, sliding scales, competition, saturation, the hourly wage at agencies, the statistics.

I tried hard to not buy this rhetoric. This group consciousness, a scarcity consciousness, was something that I think does have an impact - unless you work to screen it out.

Instead I tried hard to surround myself with people who had an abundance consciousness - who were pro-business, and believed they could make a living as a therapist, in fact many of them *had* to. This was a good help, but I will always remember the day I was at my marriage counselor. My wife was a couple of minutes late, and he knew well I was starting out in practice so he'd give me little tips (turned me on to Office Ally - thanks Ed!). One day I asked him - can I make good money? Can I make $100,000 a year? He looked me square in the eye and said "of course you can". I cannot tell you how much this helped me.

So let me tell you - YOU can make $100,000 a year as a therapist. You CAN. It might not be your first year, or your second. But let's do some math for a second:

Assumptions:

• $100/session
  
• 25 sessions/week
  
• work 50 weeks/year
  
• $100*25*50=$125,000!
  

Now I know, this is revenue, it's pre-expense, and pre-tax. But there it is in front of you. Play with some of those numbers. Move your fee down to $80 and you're at $100,000 revenue. Keep the fee at $100 and move the sessions down to 20/week and you're still at $100,000 revenue.

It can be done. And there is a quote from a movie that feels applicable to close this post - "What one man can do, another can do."

'Til next time, Your Grateful Guy