Sunday, March 30, 2008

Taking Care of Your Favorite Plants

I'm finishing up my three-part gardening series today with a post about taking care of your favorite plants. We've covered seeds, germinating, and being careful in what you plant. Now let's talk about their care and feeding.

By favorite plants, I mean the ones that provide you with fruit or enjoyment or fulfillment or nourishment in some way. In regards to your private practice, the most important one is of course YOU! You need to take good care of this most important asset, with rest, relaxation, rejuvenation, education, and just plain fun!

But let's get back to my original intention of this post - the external plants whose fruit feeds your private practice.

For me, these mainly include my website, web marketing, and referral sources. I've found I need to water, fertilize and sometimes trim these to keep them producing good and plentiful fruit.

In real life, those actions include keeping my website fresh and up-to-date, continuing to find new places on the web to post about my site and practice, and sending regular thank you notes out to people who refer to me.

And a last thought is that you need to harvest the fruit too, to keep it producing more. I have had referrals from time to time (for both my Google biz and counseling biz) that I was too busy to respond to in a timely manner. The fruit rotted, and I assume that referral source probably soured a bit on me. Thus my garden is only as big as I can work it. Interesting stuff.

All the best, Your Grateful Guy

Tuesday, March 25, 2008

Are You Planting Weeds or Flowers?

Keeping with the spring/garden theme, my question for today is "are you planting weeds or flowers?"

On a psychological or spiritual level, our thoughts, word and actions are continually influencing our lives, not only for this moment, but in continuing ripples that reverberate over time. As I wrote in my last post, sometimes seeds take a long time to germinate, and then more time to bear fruit.

So, what are you planting? Weeds or flowers?

For me, weed seeds would be ideas, words and actions that reflect judgment, scarcity, criticism, doubt, struggle and other negativity, such as:

  • Speaking ill of other therapists
  • Constant complaining about how bad things are
  • Keeping clients that you aren't a good fit for (because you want the $)
  • Trying to cheat someone financially, or be cheap with them (not pay their fee, etc)
  • Being critical of others efforts at growth or expansion

For me, flower seeds would be ideas, words and actions that show gratitude, creativity, abundance, flow, compassion and faith. That would include doing things such as:

  • Referring out to other therapists when it's right to
  • Speaking confidently and open-heartedly about your work
  • Open-heartedly helping others around you
  • Brain-storming new business ideas
  • Doing Self-care
  • Giving back financially to where you are spiritually fed

Remember, if you plant weeds, you're going to need to pull them at some point! And one characteristic of real-life weeds is that if you let them grow and turn to seed, they turn out a prodigious amount of new seed!

Best, Your Grateful Guy

Saturday, March 22, 2008

Seeds - Planting and Germinating

I've been out in the garden today, and combined with this week's new therapy client, a post has developed.

The new client I met with yesterday was such a sad young man, and my heart was open to him and felt his hurt with him. In speaking with him, he worked with a man I knew the first couple of years I was in Seattle (like 1999-2002). I hadn't seen the acquaintance in 5-6 years, but here was someone coming in because I knew him back then. In my seed analogy, a seed planted and forgotten years ago germinated and came to life.

Seeds are interesting things. Some germinate easily, under a variety of conditions. Some can sit dormant for years. Some need external help (such as to go through a bird's digestive track, or in the case of giant sequoias need fire to open the seedcase). A seed planted this month may need the heat of August to begin to turn into a plant. Many seeds never germinate.

What's the point in your private practice? Keep planting seeds, keep planting seeds, keep planting seeds. I could also say "keep the faith, keep the faith, keep the faith," because you will not see the fruits of much of your efforts for a long time, but don't mistake the lack of results today for what will be. Over time, if you keep planting seeds, you will have results come to you.

In short: be a Johnny Appleseed of your Good.

Best, Your Grateful Guy

Friday, March 7, 2008

There Is No Competition For You!

Moments ago I received a phone call from a man who "wanted to see someone today." I didn't have a full hour open, and anyway am always a little wary of people who feel that desperate, so I wished him well in his quest.

I remember when I was part of the "whoever answers the phone first gets him" contingent. I'd take anyone. I had a general practice and did not know what made me different from any other counselor. I was like the old Generic products, remember those? The ones in the supermarket with the black and white text labels that simply said "Pretzels", or "Peanut Butter"? Low price was the only reason to buy those. And did I mention that when I first started I mainly differentiated myself by my low, low prices?

Five years has taught me this: there is lots of competition for generic counselors. There is no competition for Me.

What do I mean by this? I mean that as I have begun to know who I am, what I'm good at, who I like to work with, believe in my value and learn how to confidently communicate that, I have found that I am unique.

There are so many elements in it. There's my niche, my age, my gender, where I've lived, what I've overcome, what languages I speak, what my trainings have been, and so on. There is literally no one else who has the same combination of attributes as me.

Overall, I use the term "Resonance Niche" to describe it. If you give your potential clients enough information about you (and I know this flies in the face of the psychoanalytic/blank-slate model) it will help the right ones decide on you. Some people come to me because I'm from NY. Some because I have a tech background. Some because of my "Nice Guy" niche. Some probably just because they like my "energy" in the videos on my website.

So for you, this means knowing that everything about you, everything you've been through, everything you have learned, everything you have lived, is an asset, and is part of what makes you a unique therapist. There is no competition for You!

Best, Your Grateful Guy

PS - did I mention that people pay more for a specialty item than the generic? They do.

Thursday, March 6, 2008

The Difference Between Information and Experience

So I have been blessed to get free tickets to see both Eckhart Tolle and Deepak Chopra speak over the last two weeks. Both were wonderful - accomplished people who obviously knew things deeply and were ready to teach. But I have to say, while Dr. Chopra's talk held lots of fascinating information - it was Eckhart Tolle which was profound and affecting for me. Why? I think it goes to getting information vs. an experience.

Chopra, a doctor and lecturer, did just that. He lectured. With a couple short imaginative exercises (a minute or so), which he honestly didn't seem very comfortable with. I came out with some new thoughts and new questions, but was quite ready for it to be over.

Tolle engaged us in trying to *be* a different way for the three hours. To experience presence in a different way. He brought forth experiment after experiment, and experience and experience. I felt challenged and called forth to try to feel, be, think, and *not* think differently with him. It was a "lab class", I guess. And I was moved in a way that hasn't gone back yet.

I think we need to remember the value of the therapy we do. Sure, clients often refer back to something we taught them, or said - a rule, a phrase, a tool. But underlying all that, and where I think the most profound healing comes is when they experience something radically different with us.

It's when we listen, accept, receive, see, understand, love, challenge, hold, stay with, call forth, contain, connect, resonate and be with them in a way they have never experience before that the movement and healing happens. Things that reading a self-help book just can't do.

That is our deep value. That is the intangible, esoteric value we bring. Don't forget it. Don't undervalue it.

Namaste, Your Grateful Guy