Are You Planting Weeds or Flowers?

Keeping with the spring/garden theme, my question for today is "are you planting weeds or flowers?"

On a psychological or spiritual level, our thoughts, word and actions are continually influencing our lives, not only for this moment, but in continuing ripples that reverberate over time. As I wrote in my last post, sometimes seeds take a long time to germinate, and then more time to bear fruit.

So, what are you planting? Weeds or flowers?

For me, weed seeds would be ideas, words and actions that reflect judgment, scarcity, criticism, doubt, struggle and other negativity, such as:

• Speaking ill of other therapists
  
• Constant complaining about how bad things are
  
• Keeping clients that you aren't a good fit for (because you want the $)
  
• Trying to cheat someone financially, or be cheap with them (not pay their fee, etc)
  
• Being critical of others efforts at growth or expansion
  

For me, flower seeds would be ideas, words and actions that show gratitude, creativity, abundance, flow, compassion and faith. That would include doing things such as:

• Referring out to other therapists when it's right to
  
• Speaking confidently and open-heartedly about your work
  
• Open-heartedly helping others around you
  
• Brain-storming new business ideas
  
• Doing Self-care
  
• Giving back financially to where you are spiritually fed
  

Remember, if you plant weeds, you're going to need to pull them at some point! And one characteristic of real-life weeds is that if you let them grow and turn to seed, they turn out a prodigious amount of new seed!

Best, Your Grateful Guy

There Is No Competition For You!

Moments ago I received a phone call from a man who "wanted to see someone today." I didn't have a full hour open, and anyway am always a little wary of people who feel that desperate, so I wished him well in his quest.

I remember when I was part of the "whoever answers the phone first gets him" contingent. I'd take anyone. I had a general practice and did not know what made me different from any other counselor. I was like the old Generic products, remember those? The ones in the supermarket with the black and white text labels that simply said "Pretzels", or "Peanut Butter"? Low price was the only reason to buy those. And did I mention that when I first started I mainly differentiated myself by my low, low prices?

Five years has taught me this: there is lots of competition for generic counselors. There is no competition for Me.

What do I mean by this? I mean that as I have begun to know who I am, what I'm good at, who I like to work with, believe in my value and learn how to confidently communicate that, I have found that I am unique.

There are so many elements in it. There's my niche, my age, my gender, where I've lived, what I've overcome, what languages I speak, what my trainings have been, and so on. There is literally no one else who has the same combination of attributes as me.

Overall, I use the term "Resonance Niche" to describe it. If you give your potential clients enough information about you (and I know this flies in the face of the psychoanalytic/blank-slate model) it will help the right ones decide on you. Some people come to me because I'm from NY. Some because I have a tech background. Some because of my "Nice Guy" niche. Some probably just because they like my "energy" in the videos on my website.

So for you, this means knowing that everything about you, everything you've been through, everything you have learned, everything you have lived, is an asset, and is part of what makes you a unique therapist. There is no competition for You!

Best, Your Grateful Guy

PS - did I mention that people pay more for a specialty item than the generic? They do.

Affirmations of Scarcity or Abundance in Time, Money & Energy

In my therapy marketing business, I interact with a lot of therapists. It's always interesting to see their responses to my fees - especially when I think of these responses as affirmations.

"I can't afford it."
"I don't have the money for that."

While I understand the impulse here, from a spiritual standpoint this is re-affirming the situation as true. So I'd suggest a change of languaging (and thus a different affirmation) to something more along the lines of:

"I choose not to spend my money on that."
"This isn't important enough to spend money on right now."
"I am saving up for this."

This topic is pertinent for me right now because I am running into these same issues around time and energy. I keep affirming that I don't have time for this, or the energy to do that. Or that I am overwhelmed. And so that truth continues, and reinforces itself.

One last reason to highlight this is that I don't think these are just spiritual lies we are telling when we affirm these scarcities, I believe they are literal lies. An old teacher of mine, Kathleen Carie used to say "Honey, you've got all the time, money and energy for that which is most important to you." I've never found that to be wrong.

Until next time, Your Grateful Guy

Abundance, Scarcity and Group Consciousness

Before I was a therapist, I worked in high-tech, and I made pretty good money. In fact, I was a bit of a Yuppie.

When I graduated with my Masters degree in counseling and began to launch my practice, I noted that there was a very common belief that you cannot make money as a counselor. It seemed pretty pervasive. They backed it up with facts - I'm sure you know the ones, about insurance, sliding scales, competition, saturation, the hourly wage at agencies, the statistics.

I tried hard to not buy this rhetoric. This group consciousness, a scarcity consciousness, was something that I think does have an impact - unless you work to screen it out.

Instead I tried hard to surround myself with people who had an abundance consciousness - who were pro-business, and believed they could make a living as a therapist, in fact many of them *had* to. This was a good help, but I will always remember the day I was at my marriage counselor. My wife was a couple of minutes late, and he knew well I was starting out in practice so he'd give me little tips (turned me on to Office Ally - thanks Ed!). One day I asked him - can I make good money? Can I make $100,000 a year? He looked me square in the eye and said "of course you can". I cannot tell you how much this helped me.

So let me tell you - YOU can make $100,000 a year as a therapist. You CAN. It might not be your first year, or your second. But let's do some math for a second:

Assumptions:

• $100/session
  
• 25 sessions/week
  
• work 50 weeks/year
  
• $100*25*50=$125,000!
  

Now I know, this is revenue, it's pre-expense, and pre-tax. But there it is in front of you. Play with some of those numbers. Move your fee down to $80 and you're at $100,000 revenue. Keep the fee at $100 and move the sessions down to 20/week and you're still at $100,000 revenue.

It can be done. And there is a quote from a movie that feels applicable to close this post - "What one man can do, another can do."

'Til next time, Your Grateful Guy

One of Many Reasons I Know You Can Make a Living At Psychotherapy: Look at the Mall

So I have long fought the scarcity mentality that seems to be alive in the mental health field. That attitude that we can't make a good living being a therapist, or that it's getting worse, etc. etc. Phooey. That's a crock.

One way I know this is by going to the mall. Have you been to a mall lately? It's amazing how much stuff there is for sale. Stuff that no one really needs. Malls are not about needs, they are about wants and about stuff, and when I see blue jeans that cost more than a session with me, I know there is money out there to be spent. If I can provide value, there is money out there to be made.

The other side of the mall issue for me is this: being consumers - being shallow, stuff-minded, appearance-oriented, instant-gratification people - will at some point wear off for each human. At some point they will realize this is a dead-end that does not make them happy. At some point, they will realize that they want and need help in understanding what it means to be human and how to live a fulfilling life. And therapists will be there to help.

I've got other reasons why therapy is a growth industry, but that's for another day.

Best, A Grateful Man.