Buddhists talk about taking refuge in 3 things: the Buddha, the Dharma (teachings), and the Sangha (spiritual community). I wanted to chat for a moment about Sangha.
There are times when all of us are stressed, or have some loss of faith. One of the most effective things I've found in those times is Sangha, my spiritual community. This can be any group of like-minded people, who support one another. It can be through any medium (in-person, email, phone, online forum).
Sanghas I have been in have usually been clear in their intention - as a place to voice both faith and doubt; as a place to be supported and give support; as a place to lend and to borrow faith; as a place to remind and be reminded of Truth.
I think it can be easy to "go it alone" when you're in private practice. After all, we therapists sit in a room with our clients, with no backup in the moment. And we usually have no one else to be accountable to about our business results. We even have quite strict policies about discussing our cases (and from our inherent role we may develop strict policies about talking about our own pains and weaknesses).
I want to encourage anyone reading this to find spiritual support in community. In Sangha.
Peace, Your Grateful Guy
PS - I wanted to come back and add a quick thought: the concept of spiritual community certainly isn't limited to Buddhist thought. In Christian thought, fellowship and "where two or more are gathered" are well known ideas. While I am not as conversant in Islam or Judaism, I would imagine there are similar ideas there too.
Thursday, January 31, 2008
Sunday, January 20, 2008
On "Making" It Happen
I often write based on something I need to be reminded of, and today is another example of that.
I am working on planning an annual meeting for my spiritual community's men's group, of which I am the brand new leader. I have been stressed about it, feeling the tightness and tension in my chest as I try to do everything I can think of, and try to think of everything I should do. In short, I am trying to make it happen. Lots of effort and struggle.
Today, I was reminded that the place to start is with consciousness, with visioning, with intention. And to include the easy unfolding as part of the vision. So I am calling in prayer support, and have set aside some time to really sit in the visualization of what I want this meeting to be.
This is a reminder of the first year or two of my private practice, when I tried to make success happen, make clients call me, make a niche or specialty that would bring in dollars. It all turned when I started with intention first.
I am working on planning an annual meeting for my spiritual community's men's group, of which I am the brand new leader. I have been stressed about it, feeling the tightness and tension in my chest as I try to do everything I can think of, and try to think of everything I should do. In short, I am trying to make it happen. Lots of effort and struggle.
Today, I was reminded that the place to start is with consciousness, with visioning, with intention. And to include the easy unfolding as part of the vision. So I am calling in prayer support, and have set aside some time to really sit in the visualization of what I want this meeting to be.
This is a reminder of the first year or two of my private practice, when I tried to make success happen, make clients call me, make a niche or specialty that would bring in dollars. It all turned when I started with intention first.
Monday, January 14, 2008
I Am Not "Lucky"!
It's funny, I began this post as just a title some 2 months ago. Now I return to finish it on absolutely the other side of things.
Sometimes I wonder if my readers think I'm always doing well, and that only good stuff flows to me (like unicorns and rainbows, as I sometimes say to my clients). Well, I begin this post with a blockage that is quite apparent, but which at the same time deepens my faith (odd, yes, but stay with me).
So in the last two weeks I've had an average of about a potential client contact a day. Some couples, some individuals. Some phone, some email. Some with questions, most seeming quite ready to go. But get this, not one has turned into an intake yet. I am like 0-for-10. This is way out of the ordinary for me.
It is clear to me that something is going on - so I look at my life. Hmmmmm. Had to write and deliver a class on the Four-Fold Way last weekend. Was supposed to help organize a sweat lodge that fell through at the last minute. My wife's been fighting pneumonia for over a month. And did I mention that tomorrow our adoption social worker is coming over for our "Home Study" (this is licensing our house, not us) - which has required a ton of cleaning, fixing things, and installing baby-proofing long before we'll get a baby. That's a lot of energy and attention there. Not a lot of room for anything new, like new clients.
So, you see, I don't believe this string is bad luck, just as I don't believe when I've gone 5-for-5 in a week it's been good luck. I am fairly through believing in luck. I believe in manifestation. And I know all I need to do to change the current situation. Clear up what needs to be finished, get rested, and really want and be ready for more clients. Welcome them. And then they will come. It ain't luck. Good or bad, it ain't luck.
Until next time. Yours truly, the Grateful Guy
Sometimes I wonder if my readers think I'm always doing well, and that only good stuff flows to me (like unicorns and rainbows, as I sometimes say to my clients). Well, I begin this post with a blockage that is quite apparent, but which at the same time deepens my faith (odd, yes, but stay with me).
So in the last two weeks I've had an average of about a potential client contact a day. Some couples, some individuals. Some phone, some email. Some with questions, most seeming quite ready to go. But get this, not one has turned into an intake yet. I am like 0-for-10. This is way out of the ordinary for me.
It is clear to me that something is going on - so I look at my life. Hmmmmm. Had to write and deliver a class on the Four-Fold Way last weekend. Was supposed to help organize a sweat lodge that fell through at the last minute. My wife's been fighting pneumonia for over a month. And did I mention that tomorrow our adoption social worker is coming over for our "Home Study" (this is licensing our house, not us) - which has required a ton of cleaning, fixing things, and installing baby-proofing long before we'll get a baby. That's a lot of energy and attention there. Not a lot of room for anything new, like new clients.
So, you see, I don't believe this string is bad luck, just as I don't believe when I've gone 5-for-5 in a week it's been good luck. I am fairly through believing in luck. I believe in manifestation. And I know all I need to do to change the current situation. Clear up what needs to be finished, get rested, and really want and be ready for more clients. Welcome them. And then they will come. It ain't luck. Good or bad, it ain't luck.
Until next time. Yours truly, the Grateful Guy
Are New Clients Welcome? Is There Space For Them?
One of the most clear esoteric lessons I've learned in my own private practice is that my results can be affected by own energy. If I am tired, feel overwhelmed, am getting behind, or am burnt out, my phone stops ringing, and cancellations start coming in.
Conversely, one of the best things you can do on an energetic level is to open up space for new clients, by making sure they are welcome. How do you do this? I've found different ways over the years:
- investing in my health (self-care: massage, sleep, exercise, etc.)
- adding new education; taking a continuing ed class
- cleaning my office, desk and email
- filing back paperwork; getting caught up on all billing
- figuring out where else my energy is going (family, other worries)
- getting supervision, or my own therapy
- connecting to Spirit (meditating, prayer, etc)
- taking days off; going on a retreat
- outsourcing & streamlining your business
Here's the part that seemed spooky at first - you don't need to tell anyone you are doing this to see results. I remember the first continuing ed class I took after I opened my practice. It was a David Burns workshop on CBT for Anxiety (he's a really smart and sweet guy). During the 2-day class I received three potential clients calls. I hadn't had more than one call in any given week before that.
Don't take my word for this. Try it. I help people all the time with their websites and their Internet marketing, but if they aren't open, if there isn't the space and energy to welcome the new clients, the clicks don't turn into calls.
So try it. Post your results. Let me know.
Namaste, Yout Grateful Guy
Conversely, one of the best things you can do on an energetic level is to open up space for new clients, by making sure they are welcome. How do you do this? I've found different ways over the years:
- investing in my health (self-care: massage, sleep, exercise, etc.)
- adding new education; taking a continuing ed class
- cleaning my office, desk and email
- filing back paperwork; getting caught up on all billing
- figuring out where else my energy is going (family, other worries)
- getting supervision, or my own therapy
- connecting to Spirit (meditating, prayer, etc)
- taking days off; going on a retreat
- outsourcing & streamlining your business
Here's the part that seemed spooky at first - you don't need to tell anyone you are doing this to see results. I remember the first continuing ed class I took after I opened my practice. It was a David Burns workshop on CBT for Anxiety (he's a really smart and sweet guy). During the 2-day class I received three potential clients calls. I hadn't had more than one call in any given week before that.
Don't take my word for this. Try it. I help people all the time with their websites and their Internet marketing, but if they aren't open, if there isn't the space and energy to welcome the new clients, the clicks don't turn into calls.
So try it. Post your results. Let me know.
Namaste, Yout Grateful Guy
Sunday, January 6, 2008
Building Capacity Through Spiritual Practice
It's been my experience that one of the gating factors for how many clients I have is how many I am capable of seeing: time-wise, energetically, emotionally, physically. My capacity is reflected in my results. If I am energetically drained, I get cancellations, and my phone doesn't ring. When I am filled and replenished, my people all show, and the phone rings.
I have been taught, and experienced more and more, that a way to increase my capacity to see clients is through spiritual practice. While there are many, let me focus on just two for the moment.
Opening to Wisdom - remember that Wisdom comes from Spirit. Open to a greater wisdom than your mind. That you don't need to know everything, and in fact cannot know everything. But in being open to Spirit, things will come out of your mouth that you could not have planned or known. This will usually only come out if you trust it, though. I find more and more that I follow the intuitive flow, and Wisdom comes with greater and greater ease. I remember the opposite - planning sessions, planning interventions & homeworks, self-censoring, thinking a lot in session.
Releasing Clients to Spirit - while we all have to do our due diligence when a client is in crisis, I know sometimes I hold on to responsibility once a client has left the session. I think about them, worry about them, wish I could do more. That can drain me. When I notice this (and I would say this would be good to do every day) I say a prayer recognizing the infinite Love of Spirit, and then releasing my clients into that Love. Knowing that they are held by something bigger than me allows me to let go, and replenish myself. I have my own life to live after all :-)
That's it for this Sunday. Namaste! Your Grateful Guy
I have been taught, and experienced more and more, that a way to increase my capacity to see clients is through spiritual practice. While there are many, let me focus on just two for the moment.
Opening to Wisdom - remember that Wisdom comes from Spirit. Open to a greater wisdom than your mind. That you don't need to know everything, and in fact cannot know everything. But in being open to Spirit, things will come out of your mouth that you could not have planned or known. This will usually only come out if you trust it, though. I find more and more that I follow the intuitive flow, and Wisdom comes with greater and greater ease. I remember the opposite - planning sessions, planning interventions & homeworks, self-censoring, thinking a lot in session.
Releasing Clients to Spirit - while we all have to do our due diligence when a client is in crisis, I know sometimes I hold on to responsibility once a client has left the session. I think about them, worry about them, wish I could do more. That can drain me. When I notice this (and I would say this would be good to do every day) I say a prayer recognizing the infinite Love of Spirit, and then releasing my clients into that Love. Knowing that they are held by something bigger than me allows me to let go, and replenish myself. I have my own life to live after all :-)
That's it for this Sunday. Namaste! Your Grateful Guy
Wednesday, January 2, 2008
Abundance, Scarcity and Group Consciousness
Before I was a therapist, I worked in high-tech, and I made pretty good money. In fact, I was a bit of a Yuppie.
When I graduated with my Masters degree in counseling and began to launch my practice, I noted that there was a very common belief that you cannot make money as a counselor. It seemed pretty pervasive. They backed it up with facts - I'm sure you know the ones, about insurance, sliding scales, competition, saturation, the hourly wage at agencies, the statistics.
I tried hard to not buy this rhetoric. This group consciousness, a scarcity consciousness, was something that I think does have an impact - unless you work to screen it out.
Instead I tried hard to surround myself with people who had an abundance consciousness - who were pro-business, and believed they could make a living as a therapist, in fact many of them *had* to. This was a good help, but I will always remember the day I was at my marriage counselor. My wife was a couple of minutes late, and he knew well I was starting out in practice so he'd give me little tips (turned me on to Office Ally - thanks Ed!). One day I asked him - can I make good money? Can I make $100,000 a year? He looked me square in the eye and said "of course you can". I cannot tell you how much this helped me.
So let me tell you - YOU can make $100,000 a year as a therapist. You CAN. It might not be your first year, or your second. But let's do some math for a second:
Assumptions:
Now I know, this is revenue, it's pre-expense, and pre-tax. But there it is in front of you. Play with some of those numbers. Move your fee down to $80 and you're at $100,000 revenue. Keep the fee at $100 and move the sessions down to 20/week and you're still at $100,000 revenue.
It can be done. And there is a quote from a movie that feels applicable to close this post - "What one man can do, another can do."
'Til next time, Your Grateful Guy
When I graduated with my Masters degree in counseling and began to launch my practice, I noted that there was a very common belief that you cannot make money as a counselor. It seemed pretty pervasive. They backed it up with facts - I'm sure you know the ones, about insurance, sliding scales, competition, saturation, the hourly wage at agencies, the statistics.
I tried hard to not buy this rhetoric. This group consciousness, a scarcity consciousness, was something that I think does have an impact - unless you work to screen it out.
Instead I tried hard to surround myself with people who had an abundance consciousness - who were pro-business, and believed they could make a living as a therapist, in fact many of them *had* to. This was a good help, but I will always remember the day I was at my marriage counselor. My wife was a couple of minutes late, and he knew well I was starting out in practice so he'd give me little tips (turned me on to Office Ally - thanks Ed!). One day I asked him - can I make good money? Can I make $100,000 a year? He looked me square in the eye and said "of course you can". I cannot tell you how much this helped me.
So let me tell you - YOU can make $100,000 a year as a therapist. You CAN. It might not be your first year, or your second. But let's do some math for a second:
Assumptions:
- $100/session
- 25 sessions/week
- work 50 weeks/year
- $100*25*50=$125,000!
Now I know, this is revenue, it's pre-expense, and pre-tax. But there it is in front of you. Play with some of those numbers. Move your fee down to $80 and you're at $100,000 revenue. Keep the fee at $100 and move the sessions down to 20/week and you're still at $100,000 revenue.
It can be done. And there is a quote from a movie that feels applicable to close this post - "What one man can do, another can do."
'Til next time, Your Grateful Guy
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