Intentions Get Answered - In Big Ways

Folks, this is a personal one today.

Last night, as my wife got 5 hours sleep, I sat with our newly adopted infant son in my arms. He was fairly fussy but I got him to sleep finally lying on me (he likes warmth).

You may have heard the adoption process can be long. Overall, it was, but our wait once "in the queue" (that's after all the trainings, background checks, interviews, etc etc etc) was really only 4 months.

We were at our spiritual community on Sunday and the talk was about intentions, and setting them. This has been a very intentional process all the way through (basically, each hurldle makes your re-affirm your intention.....hmmmm, sorta like being a private practice therapist). When I got home from service, I listed my intentions for 2009. One of them was about fatherhood. And the call that we were to be parents came the next day.

Back to last night - I had Louis Hay's "You Can Heal Your Life" DVD playing (for me) in the dark while the boy tried to sleep (highly recommended, by the way, especially for those with medical issues - much deeper advice than The Secret, etc) - and I cried as I told him that he was an answer to our prayers, and that I'd always remember that, and that he should always know that.

I know there will be struggles, and times when he is less lovely to be around (2, 13, etc), but I figure we set the firmament now.

I feel quite warm and open and just want to share that love with you all. I truly wish you all the experience of having your intentions manifest wonderfully in your life.

Namaste, Your Grateful Papa

So It's Serious Work - Be Happy Anyway.

My wonderful spiritual teacher, Kathianne Lewis, was speaking today at our spiritual community. She had a two-part talk, the first part being about Joy and Happiness. I thought it was applicable for us as therapists.

She spoke about figuring out a few years into her career as a minister that she was going to go home for a visit, and then she'd "get to be crazy". And she thought - "I used to have fun all the time, but I haven't been doing that lately."

She realized that when she entered her new line of work, she put on a "mantle of significance". I loved that phrase. I identified with it. When I became a therapist, it was all so serious. There was so much sadness and pain and wounding and processing and depth. And you know, there still is all that, but I think I hit the same point Kathianne did - she realized that you could work with people at all levels of problem, and still be in Joy yourself. Still be Happy. Still have Fun.

I love it.

Usually, in the few minutes between clients, I walk down the hallway outside my office (it's open to the air, and faces the west, for wondeful sunsets). And when I do this, I sing, I dance, I move my body and have a little fun before it's time to go to work.

So, dear colleagues, please do not forget to be Happy. To experience Joy. To have Fun. Remember, we cannot be unhappy enough to make some else happy. (Think about it).

Best, Your Grateful Guy

Share Your Good Results!

Hi everyone,

Sometimes, the online world can have lots of sharing of bad results - all the things that are going wrong. It gets us focused on the sense of ubiquity of these bad results (similar to bonding by complaining - something I am working on for myself!). But the truth is, these bad results are not happening to everyone. And there seems to be a prohibition sometimes on sharing the extraordinary good results.

In the teachings I follow, we call them "effects" or "demonstrations". Sharing them is a way to share and build belief, and to expand what we all think is possible. Celebrating another's successes also brings success to you, by the way. :-)

So I want to first share, and then challenge you to share your good results in the comments, whatever they may be.

First of all, I wrote on Thanksgiving about the two "lost clients" who had refused multiple bills for months, and the checks landing in my office in the same week.

Today, I had two different potential clients, one who initially emailed me IN FEBRUARY, and one in October, both come around after a long period of radio silence and set up first appointments.

I feel grateful for these. They feel like more than what I sense from the "mainstream" (which I am comfortably out of, in different ways now).

And you?

Best, Your Grateful Guy

Changing the Title

Hi folks,

I made a decision - I've changed the title of this blog to Spiritual Tools for Private Practice Success". I realized in the last few months that I am really much more "out" as a spiritual being than I was when I first started blogging here.

I also realized this isn't just about building your practice, it's about success in your practice. It's about enjoying your work, creating change for people, staying sane and centered, making a good living while doing good, keeping positive, and continuing to learn. It's about purpose and meaning. It's about *why* we do this work!

So I'm leading with the Spiritual now, rather than the Private Practice. It feels right.

Namaste, Your Grateful Guy

Scared? Focus on Creating Value

Greetings fellow travelers. Today, I want to talk about creating value.

I first want to say yes, I notice the economy and what is going on. I see the effects in the world. And no matter what is going on in the economy, I know one thing - people always pay when you can give them something of value.

The economic run-up of the last years included a creation of money (money is actually created from nothing, folks) which in retrospect was not matched with created value. Much of the money created was made on Wall Street by people playing various games and gambles, leveraging movements and changes, but not creating value.

Even in housing, the idea of flipping always turned me off, personally. A house that was worth $250,000 one day, was worth $300,000 6 months later, and $400,000 a year after that. Was the value of the house, or living in it, really any more than before? I just don't think so.  There wasn't that much value created.

So now back to our work - therapy, counseling, helping people. Our work does create value in people's lives. And it does it in the way people really experience it - on the level of their emotional state or experiential state.

Ten years ago I learned a concept called "Driving Needs", that taught me that the behaviors and activities we indulge in are really towards the end of experiencing an internal state. It's the feeling or the experience we want, folks! And that's our specialty, isn't it? We help turn depression into feeling more present and joyful and energized. We help turn anxiety into a more peaceful feeling. We turn distance into connection and intimacy and acceptance. We help people feel love!!!!!!

People pay for changes of state. Even in a down economy, what sells? Cigarettes & alcohol & the like! People pay to feel better.

Now it's up to us to really know that we create value, and what that value is. And in a challenging economy, we need to communicate that value clearly. People get stuck on the form, rather than the experience (see the book "Who Moved My Cheese" for more on this).

Value is also helping people avoid more costly or unpleasant things. It is entirely an irrational and illogical argument to say that marriage counseling is too expensive, when you look at the cost of getting divorced. Just the financial cost, of lawyers, and two households (rents, etc) absolutely DWARF the cost of marriage counseling. Feel free to steal this line for an ad: "If you think marriage counseling is expensive, just try divorce!"

So folks, keep your eye on the prize. Keep your Spirit focused on Source. Keep your mind working on creating Good in the world, and creating Value in people's lives. This will keep you in the flow.

As always, I send each one of you my very best. Namaste, Your Grateful Guy

Watching Your Media Intake

Hi folks,

Well, this post was oddly inspired by watching M. Night Shymalan's movie "The Happening" - which was a good scary movie and freaked my wife and I out a bit. I don't think I'm giving away anything by saying the protagonist happens upon someone who doesn't have TV, radio or internet. The woman has cut herself off from the news of the world, and in doing so, there are pluses and minuses. One of the pluses is the peaceful state she can be in.

I was speaking with my wife's uncle on Thanksgiving. He's from Spokane, and I asked him how the economy was there. His answer: it would be OK if people would stop watching the news. Apparently the local economy is fine, but people are freaking out when they see the national news about the bailout, etc etc.

These lead me to re-consider something I did at the start of the Iraq war - a media diet. For a week, I stopped watching news, surfing news sites on the web, and reading newspapers. Instead, I read books, I gardened, I exercised, I meditated and prayed. And it was really great. My anxiety level went down and my experience of Peace increased greatly.

In these times, where we can't control the national economy ourselves, it might be a good idea to reconsider your media diet. Instead of taking in bad news, keep your head down, keep moving forward in your practice, keep feeding your own soul and doing good in the world. Focus on what you can control and what you can do, and do it.

I sincerely wish you the best!
Your Grateful Guy

For Thanksgiving - Gratitude

"If the only prayer you ever say in your entire life is thank you, it will be enough." - Meister Eckhart

So early on this Thanksgiving Day, I turn to Gratitude. It's both a wonderful experience and a powerful spiritual tool. I'll keep it short and pithy, as I am sure you want to turn to family, football, and food. :-)

There's never a bad time to turn to gratitude - to list and focus on what is in your life that you are grateful for, and to give thanks for it - to Source, to Spirit, to God (whatever word works for you). On the basis of the idea that we draw to us what is inside us, we should and do draw to us more to be grateful for.

My wife is teaching a class right now, and one of the homework assignments was to track unexpected income, and give thanks for it. I had a strange, wonderful result of that. Two different "lost" clients - people who had no-showed their last appointment, then didn't answer emails, and then ignore multiple mailed bills for the cancellation fee (one 3 months ago, one 6 MONTHS AGO) - both of them sent in checks to me!!! I was quite flabbergasted, but gave thanks. It was unexpected. It can happen, folks!

I've got lots more to be grateful for right now, including:
* two healthy businesses
* many of my year's intentions coming to fruition (this blog being part)
* a continually deepening marriage
* a return to the gym and working out

I welcome comments of your gratitudes too! Happy Thanksgiving! Go Lions! Go Seahawks!

Best, Your Grateful Guy