Coming Back & Finding Strength

Hi folks,

It has been a while. The life of parenting a newborn is as all-encompassing as they say, and as tiring. That it is also happening while the overall economy is in turmoil, and the country's consciousness about what could happen is so shaky, well, that's an added stressor. Because a lack of sleep definitely impacts my psyche, and the lack of time has definitely impacted my spiritual practices.

But I can happily reporting that things are slowly returning to a new normal as my son gets over the 3-month-old mark and starts to sleep more at night - a new homeostasis.

And I had a month or two where I let all the worries and fears, especially about scarcity and separation (that there isn't enough, and that you and I and Spirit and I are disconnected) get to me a bit. Not good times. And when it got bad enough, I reached out to friends to help. And they reminded me of all the good, and they reminded me to turn into what I already knew. And holy moly, has that made the difference.

So, I guess the moral of the story for this post is that when you get scared, get worried, lose faith, or lose your way - turn to a friend. Turn to someone who can remind you of the good. Who will dust you off, and turn you around. I know you have them, I just do. And I bet you've done it for friends and colleagues in your life.

Finally, I have two posts I am working on - one about lowering fees during this time, and the other about scarcity and separation and fear (versus Abundance, Unity, and Faith). But those are for another night.

Until then, I wish you the best. Keep doing all the good you do - it is needed now more than ever.

Best, Your Grateful Guy

PS - and sleep is always the best thing to check when anyone's head is messed up. I was gifted with a full night's sleep on Sunday and I was a new man the next day.

Checking In & DVD Recommendations

Hello dear readers,

Well time is fleeting these days. A newborn baby is an amazing thing, a spiritual journey in itself. There is a long post I am working on about energy, "matter", and the connectedness of things, but I want to formulate that a little more.

In the meantime, I've been exploring DVD's way past The Secret - wanted to let you in on them:

1) What the Bleep Do We Know - Down the Rabbit Hole edition: with all the extended interviews in it, and the ability to have it show you stuff randomly, this is a fun one to watch over and over again. Interesting to watch the movie that really presaged The Secret, which borrowed greatly from WtB in many, many ways.

2) Introducing Abraham - The Secret Behind the Secret: for many folks, the idea of this (channeling) will cause a dead-stop. That's OK, it did for me for many years. But I've decided to stow away my disbelief and see what I thought. There is interesting stuff here.

3) You Can Heal Your Life (Louise Hay) - Extended edition: what I loved about this was Louise (and the other people featured, especially in the extra interviews on the extended edition), and the learnings they were drawn to, almost as if they couldn't escape them. The learning comes from pain and passion, but in some ways these are ordinary people who just ask "why"? That's how I feel about metaphysics. What about you?

4) Consciousness: this is a multi-disc set of one-on-one interviews, apparently done during a conference on consciousness. The production values are minimal, and some of the interviews (I think there are like 25 or so) annoyed me (some poet blathering on in ryhme, etc.). But others fed me new knowledge, and stoked the fires of curiosity. This stuff is good for therapists in their work too - it touches on existential issues and mental health issues too.

That's all from baby-central. I wish you the best, Your Grateful Guy

Intentions Get Answered - In Big Ways

Folks, this is a personal one today.

Last night, as my wife got 5 hours sleep, I sat with our newly adopted infant son in my arms. He was fairly fussy but I got him to sleep finally lying on me (he likes warmth).

You may have heard the adoption process can be long. Overall, it was, but our wait once "in the queue" (that's after all the trainings, background checks, interviews, etc etc etc) was really only 4 months.

We were at our spiritual community on Sunday and the talk was about intentions, and setting them. This has been a very intentional process all the way through (basically, each hurldle makes your re-affirm your intention.....hmmmm, sorta like being a private practice therapist). When I got home from service, I listed my intentions for 2009. One of them was about fatherhood. And the call that we were to be parents came the next day.

Back to last night - I had Louis Hay's "You Can Heal Your Life" DVD playing (for me) in the dark while the boy tried to sleep (highly recommended, by the way, especially for those with medical issues - much deeper advice than The Secret, etc) - and I cried as I told him that he was an answer to our prayers, and that I'd always remember that, and that he should always know that.

I know there will be struggles, and times when he is less lovely to be around (2, 13, etc), but I figure we set the firmament now.

I feel quite warm and open and just want to share that love with you all. I truly wish you all the experience of having your intentions manifest wonderfully in your life.

Namaste, Your Grateful Papa

So It's Serious Work - Be Happy Anyway.

My wonderful spiritual teacher, Kathianne Lewis, was speaking today at our spiritual community. She had a two-part talk, the first part being about Joy and Happiness. I thought it was applicable for us as therapists.

She spoke about figuring out a few years into her career as a minister that she was going to go home for a visit, and then she'd "get to be crazy". And she thought - "I used to have fun all the time, but I haven't been doing that lately."

She realized that when she entered her new line of work, she put on a "mantle of significance". I loved that phrase. I identified with it. When I became a therapist, it was all so serious. There was so much sadness and pain and wounding and processing and depth. And you know, there still is all that, but I think I hit the same point Kathianne did - she realized that you could work with people at all levels of problem, and still be in Joy yourself. Still be Happy. Still have Fun.

I love it.

Usually, in the few minutes between clients, I walk down the hallway outside my office (it's open to the air, and faces the west, for wondeful sunsets). And when I do this, I sing, I dance, I move my body and have a little fun before it's time to go to work.

So, dear colleagues, please do not forget to be Happy. To experience Joy. To have Fun. Remember, we cannot be unhappy enough to make some else happy. (Think about it).

Best, Your Grateful Guy

Share Your Good Results!

Hi everyone,

Sometimes, the online world can have lots of sharing of bad results - all the things that are going wrong. It gets us focused on the sense of ubiquity of these bad results (similar to bonding by complaining - something I am working on for myself!). But the truth is, these bad results are not happening to everyone. And there seems to be a prohibition sometimes on sharing the extraordinary good results.

In the teachings I follow, we call them "effects" or "demonstrations". Sharing them is a way to share and build belief, and to expand what we all think is possible. Celebrating another's successes also brings success to you, by the way. :-)

So I want to first share, and then challenge you to share your good results in the comments, whatever they may be.

First of all, I wrote on Thanksgiving about the two "lost clients" who had refused multiple bills for months, and the checks landing in my office in the same week.

Today, I had two different potential clients, one who initially emailed me IN FEBRUARY, and one in October, both come around after a long period of radio silence and set up first appointments.

I feel grateful for these. They feel like more than what I sense from the "mainstream" (which I am comfortably out of, in different ways now).

And you?

Best, Your Grateful Guy

Changing the Title

Hi folks,

I made a decision - I've changed the title of this blog to Spiritual Tools for Private Practice Success". I realized in the last few months that I am really much more "out" as a spiritual being than I was when I first started blogging here.

I also realized this isn't just about building your practice, it's about success in your practice. It's about enjoying your work, creating change for people, staying sane and centered, making a good living while doing good, keeping positive, and continuing to learn. It's about purpose and meaning. It's about *why* we do this work!

So I'm leading with the Spiritual now, rather than the Private Practice. It feels right.

Namaste, Your Grateful Guy

Scared? Focus on Creating Value

Greetings fellow travelers. Today, I want to talk about creating value.

I first want to say yes, I notice the economy and what is going on. I see the effects in the world. And no matter what is going on in the economy, I know one thing - people always pay when you can give them something of value.

The economic run-up of the last years included a creation of money (money is actually created from nothing, folks) which in retrospect was not matched with created value. Much of the money created was made on Wall Street by people playing various games and gambles, leveraging movements and changes, but not creating value.

Even in housing, the idea of flipping always turned me off, personally. A house that was worth $250,000 one day, was worth $300,000 6 months later, and $400,000 a year after that. Was the value of the house, or living in it, really any more than before? I just don't think so.  There wasn't that much value created.

So now back to our work - therapy, counseling, helping people. Our work does create value in people's lives. And it does it in the way people really experience it - on the level of their emotional state or experiential state.

Ten years ago I learned a concept called "Driving Needs", that taught me that the behaviors and activities we indulge in are really towards the end of experiencing an internal state. It's the feeling or the experience we want, folks! And that's our specialty, isn't it? We help turn depression into feeling more present and joyful and energized. We help turn anxiety into a more peaceful feeling. We turn distance into connection and intimacy and acceptance. We help people feel love!!!!!!

People pay for changes of state. Even in a down economy, what sells? Cigarettes & alcohol & the like! People pay to feel better.

Now it's up to us to really know that we create value, and what that value is. And in a challenging economy, we need to communicate that value clearly. People get stuck on the form, rather than the experience (see the book "Who Moved My Cheese" for more on this).

Value is also helping people avoid more costly or unpleasant things. It is entirely an irrational and illogical argument to say that marriage counseling is too expensive, when you look at the cost of getting divorced. Just the financial cost, of lawyers, and two households (rents, etc) absolutely DWARF the cost of marriage counseling. Feel free to steal this line for an ad: "If you think marriage counseling is expensive, just try divorce!"

So folks, keep your eye on the prize. Keep your Spirit focused on Source. Keep your mind working on creating Good in the world, and creating Value in people's lives. This will keep you in the flow.

As always, I send each one of you my very best. Namaste, Your Grateful Guy